To recap:
*Your daddy and I celebrated our (unofficial) two-year anniversary. Our first "official" anniversary won't happen until 2016 since we are cool and got married on Leap Day.
*I FOUND OUT THAT YOU'RE A GIRL!!! Daddy went through a lot of effort to make your gender reveal a special occasion and it was great! (And if you folks haven't seen the video yet, you're missing out.) I also felt very proud of myself that I correctly guessed beforehand what you were. You are already so loved by so many. We have been lucky to have friends and family (and even a random coworker or two) ask what you need or just buy you some cute outfits. I am thrilled that you're a summer baby- the clothes are much cuter.
*Your daddy, big brother and I went to California for a little vacation before you arrive. Pongo was afraid of the ocean, but had a great time smelling lots of dog butts, meeting new people and running around. We visited with your uncle and aunt and Pongo got to play even more with other fur babies and had the time of his life. We went to Huntington Beach, Hollywood and Santa Monica and loved all of it. It was your first trip to the ocean and I like to think you enjoyed it; you sure did wiggle around a lot.
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| Pongo was afraid of the ocean and sat with me when he wasn't smelling butts. |
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| I sincerely want this to be my front yard. It was so peaceful and smelled heavenly. |
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| Baby girl, this was our social media debut. Your daddy said something I didn't like and your uncle got this picture. |
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| You Uncle JJ, Aunt Candice and daddy at Santa Monica beach. |
Here's some more stuff I want you to know about me:
#14- Describe 5 weaknesses and strengths you have:
Weaknesses-- there are many...
1- I am oddly particular about weird things. I tend to think that the way I do things is the most efficient, correct, organized, etc. It gets old being so Type A.
2- I am impatient waiting for things that I feel I deserve now. Especially you, little girl. I felt that I had endured my fair share of trials and anticipated that having children would come easily because I deserved it. Well, other things were planned for your dad and I. We waited nearly two years to learn that you would be joining us and it was torture. My heart breaks for those good people I know that have to, and continue to, wait much longer than I did.
3- I have road rage. Legit. I have little patience for people who choose to act like idiots.
4- I tend to have a potty mouth. Not my favorite thing about me. I really need to get a handle on it before you start talking because I am terrified that your first word will be "Shit."
5- I have ridiculous anxiety when it comes to talking to new people. I love to sit by myself in class, not answer phone numbers that I don't recognize or making calls to companies or people that I'd rather not talk to. As your dad put it, I'd "rather chew my own face off" and often put him up to talking to strangers.
Strengths--a toughy.
1- I am very organized. I have lists for everything. Meal plans, calendars with stuff actually written on it, post-its galore and a Budget Binder with spending spreadsheets, account info, and pockets designated for certain bills and receipts. I would also lump being frugal in this category. I'm very careful with money.
2- I know a lot of useless trivia. I will toot my own horn here: I am a beast at Jeopardy!...I'm so cool.
3- I make good salsa, so I've been told.
4- I like to think that my word means something. If I say I will do something, I do it. If I can't do it, then I don't agree to do it in the first place.
5- I am adequately intelligent. I love to learn and go to school. School has never been something that I struggle with and I realize that is not the case for many.
#15- Describe when you knew your spouse was the one, or when you fell in love:
When I first met your daddy, we were seeing other people. When things worked out for us to hook it up, I wasn't looking for anything serious. I knew that I enjoyed his company and he always made me laugh. Honestly, I don't know that there was a moment that I fell in love with him, but rather, a series of a million tiny things that added up to us being inseparable. I knew that I loved him, but when he left on his mission for two years I was a wreck. I avoid crying at all costs, but I was a hot mess when I left the airport. (I had to work that night and my boss asked me if someone had died and if I would like to go home.) That moment showed me how much I cared about him. Up to that point, we had spent every day for two years seeing each other. It was jarring and painful to have that taken away so quickly, and for what felt like forever. When he finally made it home, two long years later, we had already decided that we were going to get married and never wanted to spend that much time apart again. And we haven't. And I hope we never have to. Baby girl, this is my hope for you: find someone who you can't imagine not being around, who will be the one you want to tell every exciting, funny, sad and embarrassing thing to. I hope you find your best friend and don't mess it up.
#16- What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
1- Making it to 25 before I got married and/or had kids. This might sound weird, but I am grateful that my life has worked out this way. With my personality, I firmly believe that if I have gotten married sooner or started a family sooner I would have the feeling that I am missing out, and would in turn, resent being a wife and mother. I've been fortunate to have the chance to see, feel and experience much so far.
2- I have re-enrolled in college, for the second time....I think this is huge because many don't go back to school after stopping once, let alone twice. I want to finish school because I know that I can make a difference with my degree and desire to better other's lives. I also want you to see that its never too late to finish a goal you have set for yourself and that getting an education is very important.
3- I've become more open-minded. A lot more. I feel passionately about treating others with kindness and for doing the right thing. I've also grown to know that sometimes what I thought was correct or the only right way, is not the path another person wants for themselves- and that's OK! Just because we disagree does not mean their feelings or thoughts are invalid or incorrect. You can be a better force for good by being kind than by being opinionated.
4-Self-love. I know its something we all struggle with at times, but you gotta get over it. I used to obsess over my imperfections and short-comings and all it ever did was make me feel worse about myself. If you aren't happy with your body, do what you can to take care of it (feed yourself better, exercise, etc) but then forget about the rest. I had to learn this the hard way more than once. Pizzaface in high school is like having a death sentence, but I chose to focus more on making my mind and personality beautiful and growing confidently in those areas. When I was trying to get pregnant with you, I became acutely aware of how little control I had over my weight...and how little control I had for a long time. I ate well, exercised, avoided harmful things, but my body just wouldn't lose weight like it should. It won't break down sugar and insulin the way it should, or regulate my hormones the way it should. But guess what? None of that matters. I attribute a lot of my strength to your daddy. He has always loved me and all my glorious cellulite and imperfections. I know that it should matter more what you think of yourself, but being married to a man who truly thinks you're beautiful is empowering.
5- My blog! I've always loved to write and had some talent for it. I'm glad that I've taken the plunge and started writing for myself....and then letting others read it. It it scary at times, to be so personal with so many, but I've grown to love it. As Hemingway put it, "There is no writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
#17- What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Listening. I wish I was a better listener. I have frequently experienced people "randomly" opening up to me about personal things, but I attribute that to a vibe of non-judgement being given off from me. I love that people feel that comfortable and confident with me, but I wish I was a better listener. Not just with people, but to also have the ability to have an ear for languages and music (like my brother does. Seriously, he is so talented with hearing something and picking it up so easily; be it learning Arabic, Spanish, or teaching himself to play guitar and drums.) It's a talent I've always been envious of.
#18- What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
That I laugh at his farts. I kid, I kid. I would guess that it's knowing there will never be a dull moment with me. I am excited about weird stuff (like writing a Bio-luminescence research paper), that I laugh a lot at inappropriate things, that I love to see new places, and that I'm always pushing towards the next goal I have made for myself. I'm sure at times that can be exhausting, but I'm grateful he's coming along for the ride with me.
#19- How did you feel the moment you [found out you would] become a parent? (I tweaked this question a bit, since I have't officially become a parent.)
Mostly I was excited. Then I got nervous. I still go back and forth between these two emotions on a daily basis. We are so excited for you to get here, but I'm also terrified of messing you up. As odd as this may sound, you are already very present in our home. I'm constantly impressed by your peaceful spirit and the calm you bring to my mind. I heard a TED talk once, that very artistically, describes what she would say and do if she "should have a daughter". I hope that I will be "Point B" for you, as well.
Until we meet, I will spend my time making more lists, agonizing over silly things, and reading more on the type of birthing experience I want for you and I. We think we've decided on a name for you, but are keeping a couple on the shelf just in case the name we'd like for you, doesn't suit you.
Love,
Mama
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