"A man and a woman had a little baby..."

3 is a magic number. Refresh your memory and watch this Schoolhouse Rock video. 

When you're done with that, here's one of my favorite Wings' song to listen to.


So. We had a baby! Her name is Lucee and we think she's perfect. Here's her birth story:

On July 7th we BOTH had an entire day off from work, as well as an ultrasound and doctor appointment. That morning, Spouse took out our hospital bag and Lucee's car seat so that we could clean out the car after our ultrasound. We had also planned to have a "date day" and get some lunch and pedicures. Obviously, none of this took place. At our ultrasound we got to see our little cub and her perfect measurements, and the tech told us there was one more test to do. This test was pass or fail, and was an amniotic fluid check to make sure baby has enough fluid to survive. We asked what would happen if we failed, and he said that we would be sent upstairs to have a baby. The tech checked 4 different areas and we failed. And then I started to panic. He checked again and we failed again. Mama's fluid numbers need to be anywhere from 5-25 and mine where 3.3...so we were sent to a room to wait and talk to a doctor. Since my doc was at a conference until the 14th, we were seen by the on-call doctor, and after a 1 minute conversation, were sent upstairs to be induced.

I was not happy. Not only was our stuff not in the car, I was hungry, I had bridal shower invitations to send off and decorations to make, freezer meals to prep, padsicles to make, and worst of all....my toes were naked in anticipation of a luxurious pedicure. More annoying than all of this, was that being induced 2 weeks early threw 90% of my birth plan out the window. Forget going into labor naturally, avoiding Pitocin and an  IV, and constant fetal monitoring. Lame. I get that motherhood isn't about me, and this was my first of many tests to see how selfish I really am. This was about Lucee and getting her here safely. To calm my nerves, I asked Caleb to give me a blessing. It was very sweet, comforting and helped me bring things into the proper perspective. 

Let me just say how evil Pitocin is. Any mamas that have dealt with this devil liquid, I feel for you. And any of you that have been on Pitocin and not gotten an epidural, I bow down at your feet. I was hooked up to Pitocin and the doctor came in to break my water around 11. By 5 that night, they had maxed out the Pitocin and I was hating life. Thanks to the relaxation techniques I learned through Hypnobirthing, I lasted 12 hours before I waved my little flag and got an epidural. Caleb was great at encouraging me to stay strong, but I hadn't dilated past a 4 in 7 hours and I was still having contractions every 2 to 3 minutes. I was tired. I cried as I asked Caleb to not be disappointed in me, but I couldn't do it anymore. The epidural kicked in around midnight and we managed to sleep off and on for 4 hours before I started puking. While I was asleep, they got the doctor's permission to up my Pitocin more and started measuring the effectiveness of my contractions. At 4:30 I woke up and puked every half an hour until Lucee came. Actually, I even puked once in the middle of pushing. Nice. When the nurse, Candis- who was an ANGEL and really enhanced that whole experience- came in to check me around 6:30, I had fully dilated and Lucee was on her way out. So she let the doctor know and got me ready to squeeze this kid out. (I must say, as tired as she must have been, Lucee did great. I was afraid of her getting tired, getting stuck or her heart rate dropping and having to have a c-section. She worked just as hard as I did.) 5 pushes later, baby girl made her entrance. Despite feeling a little bummed about the epidural, I was grateful for it when it came time to push. I was able to enjoy delivering my baby. I wasn't screaming or crying like other ladies in the rooms near me; I was present and able to make it as peaceful of an entrance as I could.

I still had a hard time believing I was about to be a mama, up until I saw her little hairy head and they put that gooey baby on my chest to clean her up. It was weird. Here was this little person, that I had never met before, yet she felt very familiar. We had watched her stretch my belly out, we washed her clothes, stocked up on diapers, and assembled endless items of baby furniture. After long years and months of waiting, she was finally here. It made sense to me afterwards, that she would come early. She didn't start her journey while we were doing fertility treatments, she came after we had decided to take a break from all of that and the emotional drain that came with it. She didn't come when the car was packed and meals were prepped, she came early, without warning. She came the way she was supposed to. It's very cliche, but we loved her instantly. Too much, maybe. If that's possible.

My heart gushed as I watched Caleb give her her first bath. He was so gentle and sweet. He faithfully tended to changing her first couple of gross diapers (Lucee was an overachiever her first day on Earth, and she pooped 4 times, not just once. We're so proud.) Spouse even did some skin to skin time with her which made me feel all the feels. I am sincerely grateful for such a sweet teammate. His kind heart never ceases to amaze and bless me. 

When I could actually start walking again, I managed to pee all over the floor and the nurse on the walk to the bathroom. She was kind enough to assemble a thunder pad for me, complete with Tucks pads, hemorrhoid ointment and an ice pack. Ma'am, you will always have a special place in my heart! I believe the total count of strangers that saw my lady biscuit was 7. I would have never thought I would be OK with that. I also never thought I would be OK with someone assisting, in a very personal way, to help Lucee and I learn how to breastfeed. That whole experience was very frustrating initially. I can see where people think that it's a natural thing, but there is definitely some learning involved on both sides. It is not a sensation you get used to, and it does hurt- even if you're "doing it right". I'm just happy these things aren't just for looks, but they actually function!

I believe the first 24 hours home I cried 4 times. It was probably the post-pregnancy hormone tornado, but I was a mess. I felt this dread that I was a bad mama already because I wasn't a pro at breastfeeding. I felt bad that I was tired and I didn't want to hold my brand new, sweet baby constantly. I wanted a nap! I will forever be grateful for Caleb coming into the bathroom, holding our baby, to give me a kiss and tell me I'm a good mama. I had been sitting on the toilet, crying over the giant thunder pad/mesh underwear combo when he came in to make sure I was OK. We were both very tired from the past couple of days, but he had a larger capacity than I did at that moment, and he gently sent me to bed to sleep off my angst. Never before has a three hour nap felt so good!!!

By the way, does anyone else feel like the hospitals are waaaay too casual about sending you home with a defenseless, tiny human? I was amazed. "These people don't know me!" I thought. I could be crazy, neglectful, have amnesia or be really good at faking like I care. I would have felt much better had I been told I needed to attend a class where I was immersed in feeding, bathing, butt-changing, sleep deprivation and parent survival skills before I left. Once reinforcements arrived in the form of grandmas, life became easier. I will forever be thankful for the countless times they, and my beloved, took my sweet girl so I could sleep. Feeding every 2 to 3 hours is tedious, but I love that time with my girl. I am very much looking forward to the day where I can sleep more than 3 hours at a time!

Motherhood is nuts and not for the faint of heart. Many high fives to you ladies that have done it multiple times...cheerfully! Being a parent is going to be a crazy journey. I am so lucky to have Caleb by my side. I'm even more lucky that we agree on many of the same things in regards to raising our little one. I am continually humbled by Lucee, who regularly reminds me how selfish I am. I am grateful for the person she is and the lessons she has already taught Caleb and I. She is our greatest adventure.

Also, if anyone was wondering. Pongo loves Lucee. Any time she squeaks, sneezes or loudly loads her diaper, he comes running over to check on her. He is very gentle and sniffs her A LOT. After the occasional rough night, he too has red, sleepy eyes. He will be the best big brother, and I'm certain Lucee will adore him.