While I reminisce about the past few months, listen to these tunes that pay tribute to our move back to the homeland. (Note: I tried to pick a song that accounted for every state we went through. And some others that share my feelings of moving in general.)
Highway to Hell - ACDC
Crazy Utah Names - srsly....they are nuts.
Waking Up In Vegas - Katy Perry
Arizona - Kings of Leon
Albuquerque - Weird Al (aka the weirdest 11:30 of your life)
Amarillo - Gorillaz
Oklahoma! - from Oklahoma!
Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (because the second word in the song is "Arkansas")
Nashville Without You - Tim McGraw
Georgia On My Mind - Ray Charles
So uh...moving was nuts. We managed to pack all of our earthly belongings, ourselves and a dog into a Uhaul trailer, an SUV and our hybrid. We made a pit-stop in Vegas to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law. It was nice to see them again and eat some ridiculous, tasty food at over-priced buffets. It took us 5 years to get across New Mexico and Arizona. Driving across Oklahoma at 2 a.m. proved to be fruitful for my invention/idea brainstorming session. I came up with 9 (NINE?!) ideas for programs or actual inventions... along with a lot of random questions, and a few about the Federal Reserve??? (i.e. why can't we, or anyone really, audit the FR? Why is it "illegal" to not pay income tax when income tax itself is technically illegal in the first place?)
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| Peace out, Logan! |
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| The. Worst. |
Anyway.
Arkansas was our official welcome back into the Southland, and it came at the perfect time. Caleb's car ran out of gas on an exit ramp, which meant that he had to walk to the nearest gas station, buy a $15 gas can, get gas, and walk back. After all of this, we continued down the interstate to the next exit for cheaper gas and a nutritious lunch at McDonald's. We both looked pretty rough as we walked into the McDonald's (now that I think of it, I don't know of anyone that dresses up to go eat there), and I handed off baby lady to her dad so I could go to the little girl's room. When I came out, two old ladies were talking to spouse, and as I got closer, I could hear them gushing over how "precious" Lucee was. We thanked them and mentioned that we were en route to Georgia from Utah. They wished us luck, told us to "have a blessed day", and we got in line to order a Failure Meal. As we approached the counter to place our order, one of the nice old ladies, tapped Caleb on the shoulder, shoved some money in his hand and said, "Let Granny buy y'all some lunch. Drive safe and take care of that baby." While she was walking away, we mumbled a shocked "Thank You" and stared at each other. "Only in the South," Caleb said.
I must admit, up until that point, I was only 60% committed to our move. I ached for home, but I also had come to love our life in Utah. We had made genuine, life-long friendships and we were moving away from them, and moving towards a great deal of uncertainty. After granny paid for our lunch, it was spoken to my heart that what we were trying to do, was indeed, the right thing for our little family. On days when I especially miss my friends, the grid system, or Winco, I go back to that moment to remind myself that what we are doing is right for us, even though I still struggle with it at times.
It's been nearly 5 months since we moved back and it has been harder and better than I had expected. Caleb received two job promotions within 6 weeks. They have been very good to him, and had we not moved when we did, he would have missed out on these chances to move up in the company. It has been nice to live so close to family that are always willing to babysit Lucee if needed. I would be lying if I said that a 2 hour trip to the gym to workout and tan doesn't feel like a vacation. Because it is. (Yes, I fakebake. I love it. Thanks for your judgment.) Thanks to a husband who is willing to help me with my form, I've rediscovered my love of weight-lifting. I am clearly the weakest human on the planet, but I'm working to change that. I no longer strive to be skinny, I want to be strong. I want to have an ass, not just a butt. I want to do a legit pull-up (unassisted). I want to carry the carseat with Lucee in it and not feel like my arm is falling off. I want to carry all the groceries inside in one trip. Because steroids. *crosses fingers forever*
Lucee is growing like a dang weed. When we got here, she could barely hold her head up on her own, now she's sitting up by herself and saying "mama" all the time.
In October, she got to meet her great-grandmother.
She had her baby blessing.
And she was "Max" for Halloween. She was too pooped for Trunk-or-Treat.
On Thanksgiving, she rolled over.
And by Christmas time she was sitting up like a big girl.
It was awesome to be home for the holidays. We missed our Utah friends and family, but there's something special about having your baby home for her "firsts". She is so loved by so many. She's a lucky girl. She got more presents than an infant needs (as it should be) and we were told more than once, that she is considered a member of the family to many close friends here. With the exception of a car accident in the Target parking lot the weekend before Christmas (not our fault, thank goodness), the holidays were easy, and mostly quiet.
For New Year's, we didn't go out. Lucee was sick, but spouse and I managed to stay awake to kiss at midnight. I admit, this is one of my favorite traditions; I love the idea of starting out my year with a kiss from my man. Also, my "one little word" for the year is "gentle". I desperately need to have a gentler tone of voice, way of interacting with others (because being catty all the time isn't that great), lending a gentle, listening ear, and being more gentle to myself, my body, my marriage, my loved ones.
Pongo had his second birthday. We are so grateful for him, his energy, and his kind nature. I feel like dogs are here to teach us how to be more loving, and not to take things too seriously. Pongo's ability to forgive quickly and love fully has always been a great example to me. I happily admit that I love him like a child. I seriously consider him my first baby.
Motherhood is such a crazy thing. Right when I think I've got the hang of it, we'll have a bad day or something happens and I feel I'm forced to start from scratch. I confess that it's been infinitely harder than I could have anticipated. I still struggle with an inability to feel fulfilled most days; especially the days that are spent scrubbing poop out of clothes, giving baths without getting one myself, and being covered in breast milk, boogers and at times, poop. Gone are the days where I am not covered in someone else's bodily fluids. This is a thankless job. I don't get to clock out, go home or take the weekends off. I'm on duty (doody) 24/7, overseeing the literal growth and development of another tiny person whose only form of communication consists of whining, smiling and babbling. It's not glamorous, but I also love it. I admit, I get crazy frustrated when it's 3 a.m. and I am getting kicked by a little person, but I also cried when she said "mama" for the first time. There is no amount of money that is worth that experience. Despite having a spouse that helps with diaper changes and entertaining baby lady, she prefers me. She also prefers waking me up in the morning by placing her little hand on my face until I open my eyes. And I happen to love it.
In my many moments of thirsting for upliftment, I am forever grateful for a kind man (whom I look up to quite a bit) going out of his way to tell me I'm one of their favorite people. When I insisted that he shouldn't go around saying things like that, he counseled me to think of myself the way he thinks of me. It was a simple thing to say, but I am grateful he said it. In my attempt to follow my "word" this year, I will have to remind myself of this encounter frequently.
I've neglected writing for so long, because I felt what I had to say, carried so little weight. I don't make money doing this, I reveal no earth-shattering truths. My entries probably won't be filled with work-out tips, great recipes, organizing/budgeting/cleaning ideas, or cool vacations. I don't have a poppin' social life. The friends I once had here, are too busy with their own lives to worry about asking me to lunch or coming over for a visit. I have learned to deal with the disappointment of not seeing friends as often as I had hoped. Often this has made me feel even more isolated and forgotten. This is easy to feel like when the bulk of your days are spent talking to an infant and two dogs. I do, however, get to read to, snuggle with, sing and dance for a blue-eyed beauty. So for now, I'm good with that. My apologies if I talk your ears off if I bump into you at the grocery store- it's weird to talk to adults sometimes and I can quickly forget how that dialogue should go. And if anyone wants to go on a lunch date, give me 24 hours notice, so I can be sure to shower and put real clothes on.
Arkansas was our official welcome back into the Southland, and it came at the perfect time. Caleb's car ran out of gas on an exit ramp, which meant that he had to walk to the nearest gas station, buy a $15 gas can, get gas, and walk back. After all of this, we continued down the interstate to the next exit for cheaper gas and a nutritious lunch at McDonald's. We both looked pretty rough as we walked into the McDonald's (now that I think of it, I don't know of anyone that dresses up to go eat there), and I handed off baby lady to her dad so I could go to the little girl's room. When I came out, two old ladies were talking to spouse, and as I got closer, I could hear them gushing over how "precious" Lucee was. We thanked them and mentioned that we were en route to Georgia from Utah. They wished us luck, told us to "have a blessed day", and we got in line to order a Failure Meal. As we approached the counter to place our order, one of the nice old ladies, tapped Caleb on the shoulder, shoved some money in his hand and said, "Let Granny buy y'all some lunch. Drive safe and take care of that baby." While she was walking away, we mumbled a shocked "Thank You" and stared at each other. "Only in the South," Caleb said.
I must admit, up until that point, I was only 60% committed to our move. I ached for home, but I also had come to love our life in Utah. We had made genuine, life-long friendships and we were moving away from them, and moving towards a great deal of uncertainty. After granny paid for our lunch, it was spoken to my heart that what we were trying to do, was indeed, the right thing for our little family. On days when I especially miss my friends, the grid system, or Winco, I go back to that moment to remind myself that what we are doing is right for us, even though I still struggle with it at times.
 |
| Marlaina and Lucee finally meeting. SO cute. |
It's been nearly 5 months since we moved back and it has been harder and better than I had expected. Caleb received two job promotions within 6 weeks. They have been very good to him, and had we not moved when we did, he would have missed out on these chances to move up in the company. It has been nice to live so close to family that are always willing to babysit Lucee if needed. I would be lying if I said that a 2 hour trip to the gym to workout and tan doesn't feel like a vacation. Because it is. (Yes, I fakebake. I love it. Thanks for your judgment.) Thanks to a husband who is willing to help me with my form, I've rediscovered my love of weight-lifting. I am clearly the weakest human on the planet, but I'm working to change that. I no longer strive to be skinny, I want to be strong. I want to have an ass, not just a butt. I want to do a legit pull-up (unassisted). I want to carry the carseat with Lucee in it and not feel like my arm is falling off. I want to carry all the groceries inside in one trip. Because steroids. *crosses fingers forever*
Lucee is growing like a dang weed. When we got here, she could barely hold her head up on her own, now she's sitting up by herself and saying "mama" all the time.
In October, she got to meet her great-grandmother.
 |
| They had a lot to talk about. Also, this picture makes my heart burst. I should probably frame it. |
 |
| Lucee meeting her uncle and cousin (who is a mere 3 weeks older than her). |
She had her baby blessing.
And she was "Max" for Halloween. She was too pooped for Trunk-or-Treat.
 |
| I'll eat you up, I love you so. (Please note: this costume does have a tail.) |
On Thanksgiving, she rolled over.
 |
| Like a boss. |
And by Christmas time she was sitting up like a big girl.
 |
| Of course, she wanted the wrapping paper and not the actual toys. |
For New Year's, we didn't go out. Lucee was sick, but spouse and I managed to stay awake to kiss at midnight. I admit, this is one of my favorite traditions; I love the idea of starting out my year with a kiss from my man. Also, my "one little word" for the year is "gentle". I desperately need to have a gentler tone of voice, way of interacting with others (because being catty all the time isn't that great), lending a gentle, listening ear, and being more gentle to myself, my body, my marriage, my loved ones.
 |
| When I first read this, I was cut by its simplicity and sweetness. |
Pongo had his second birthday. We are so grateful for him, his energy, and his kind nature. I feel like dogs are here to teach us how to be more loving, and not to take things too seriously. Pongo's ability to forgive quickly and love fully has always been a great example to me. I happily admit that I love him like a child. I seriously consider him my first baby.
 |
| He's so handsome. |
 |
| The relationship between these two is unlike any other. His patience towards her is so precious. |
 |
| If she's ever in the floor playing, he's always checking on her or laying down next to her. |
Motherhood is such a crazy thing. Right when I think I've got the hang of it, we'll have a bad day or something happens and I feel I'm forced to start from scratch. I confess that it's been infinitely harder than I could have anticipated. I still struggle with an inability to feel fulfilled most days; especially the days that are spent scrubbing poop out of clothes, giving baths without getting one myself, and being covered in breast milk, boogers and at times, poop. Gone are the days where I am not covered in someone else's bodily fluids. This is a thankless job. I don't get to clock out, go home or take the weekends off. I'm on duty (doody) 24/7, overseeing the literal growth and development of another tiny person whose only form of communication consists of whining, smiling and babbling. It's not glamorous, but I also love it. I admit, I get crazy frustrated when it's 3 a.m. and I am getting kicked by a little person, but I also cried when she said "mama" for the first time. There is no amount of money that is worth that experience. Despite having a spouse that helps with diaper changes and entertaining baby lady, she prefers me. She also prefers waking me up in the morning by placing her little hand on my face until I open my eyes. And I happen to love it.
 |
| Co-sleeping for the win. |
 |
| After a particularly frustrating (aka "clingy") day, she posed so sweetly for me. Her look spoke volumes to me. First and foremost, it was "Calm the f down, ma. I'm a baby, remember?" |
In my many moments of thirsting for upliftment, I am forever grateful for a kind man (whom I look up to quite a bit) going out of his way to tell me I'm one of their favorite people. When I insisted that he shouldn't go around saying things like that, he counseled me to think of myself the way he thinks of me. It was a simple thing to say, but I am grateful he said it. In my attempt to follow my "word" this year, I will have to remind myself of this encounter frequently.
I've neglected writing for so long, because I felt what I had to say, carried so little weight. I don't make money doing this, I reveal no earth-shattering truths. My entries probably won't be filled with work-out tips, great recipes, organizing/budgeting/cleaning ideas, or cool vacations. I don't have a poppin' social life. The friends I once had here, are too busy with their own lives to worry about asking me to lunch or coming over for a visit. I have learned to deal with the disappointment of not seeing friends as often as I had hoped. Often this has made me feel even more isolated and forgotten. This is easy to feel like when the bulk of your days are spent talking to an infant and two dogs. I do, however, get to read to, snuggle with, sing and dance for a blue-eyed beauty. So for now, I'm good with that. My apologies if I talk your ears off if I bump into you at the grocery store- it's weird to talk to adults sometimes and I can quickly forget how that dialogue should go. And if anyone wants to go on a lunch date, give me 24 hours notice, so I can be sure to shower and put real clothes on.
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