I Am An Emotional Creature

DISCLAIMER:  If you cannot say or hear the word "vagina" without laughing, this post is not for you.  I, only laugh occasionally when I hear the word "penis", so clearly I'm more mature than you.  Farts, are another story entirely. Whatever...read on: 

I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling
as you're feeling it inside
the feeling
before.
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me 
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what 
you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back.
It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a 
teenage thing
or it's only only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.

I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off? 
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional, 
incandotional, creature. 
And I love, hear me, 
love love love
being a girl.

That was Eve Ensler, founder of V-Day (a global campaign to end violence against women) and creator or The Vagina Monologues, in and excerpt from her book I Am An Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World.  

I admit, that, when connected the dots to who Eve Ensler actually was, I thought, "Oh great.  She's going to talk about vaginas the whole time."  She did, but she didn't in the way I was expecting. Thank goodness.  I have one, I'm aware of it and the fact that it makes peeing on camping trips terribly inconvenient.  Read more about Eve HERE .  I wish I was as passionate about...showering, eating, cleaning, anything!  the way she feels about her life's passion. 

THIS resonated deeply with me,  because not until recently, have I become keenly aware of my own body. My emotions.  My inner-girl.  I, too, was not aware of how much I had tried my whole life to suppress my "girl cell".  I refused to acknowledge that I had boobs for years.  I rarely curled my hair, let alone brush it.  I didn't wear make-up until college. I did not own a blow-dryer until very recently.  I thought all of these things meant being more girly.  It does not. At 26 I just learned this.  Being vulnerable, emotional, expressive and sensitive is. Living these attributes more openly is.  But its not a gender limitation, its a frame of mind. As children we learn very quickly that girls play with Barbies and boys play with Hot Wheels.  If a girl scrapes her knees up, expect a snuggle, kiss on the owie and a band-aid. Boys? "Stop crying, you're fine."  Suppressing these emotions that are in all of us, is what I feel, leads to such a division of the sexes later in life. Maybe we forget what it is we've been suppressing.  

Either way, I thank my lucky stars for my imperfect body and what I have learned from it. I didn't realize how much I craved children until my ability to have them has become extremely hard.  I never thought I would get emotional at baby showers.  Its a conflicting emotion: being happy for someone else and violently upset that the very thing you want you cannot have. Even more frustrating for me, is when someone else might not truly appreciate or even want it.  Its all I can do sometimes, to restrain myself from lashing out at women for complaining about stupid things like stretch marks or getting fat from pregnancy.  Guess what? You're growing a human!  That's pretty cool. Remember, while you curse your current situation, even though it might be difficult for you, realize there are people out there who are spending lots of money and making themselves sick and miserable to get those stretch marks you despise so much. Yikes...a little personal, much?

Thankfully, my hubby loves me and doesn't think I'm too crazy. Or, he doesn't vocalize it much. So, uh, being a girl isn't a bad thing, OK?  Being a dude that's sensitive doesn't make you girly, it makes you human.

Does getting teary-eyed every time I visit a Disney theme park count? I think so.